Stand in front of Spreadsheet of You and an Excel 2003 worksheet begins filling with your face. The camera image becomes an 80-by-80 mosaic of coloured cells; a white silhouette holds the centre while fields gather around it. Within seconds, the sheet proposes a name, an income, a mood and the number of years you may have left.
A guess dressed as a record
Andreas Refsgaard combines MediaPipe and face-api.js with 2024 demographic and actuarial tables from Danmarks Statistik. Computer vision estimates traits such as age, gender and expression; population data supplies likely names, monthly income and remaining life expectancy. None of those outputs is an individual truth. Excel's rows, labels and formula bar nevertheless make each estimate look settled before the visitor has time to dispute it.
That is the work's precise discomfort. The software aesthetic is deliberately old and ordinary: not a black-box command centre, but the office tool of budgets, HR files and administrative decisions. It asks what happens when a body enters a format built to sort, compare and calculate. The joke lands quickly; the authority of the grid lingers.